Ex- England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the condition.
"There's something about facing the future and not wanting to really process that at the present time," he stated.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, says instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his current wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the disease worsens.
"Maybe that's shock or maybe I handle situations differently, and once I have the details, it's more manageable," he stated further.
Initial Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the condition, a series of scans revealed nerve cells in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately extremely emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that everything is fine," he added.
"I don't sense ill. I don't sense unwell
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be competent to doing anything and everything. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is possible."
Condition Advancement
MND can advance swiftly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease kills a 33% of people within a 365 days and more than half within 730 days of detection, as eating and breathing become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only retard worsening.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," added an affected Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Consequences
Conversing from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started cleaning the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the priority was remaining in the moment.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly directed on just accepting and savoring everything now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been really blessed that the primary determination I made when I left playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those years back."
Athlete Association
Professional competitors are unevenly impacted by MND, with studies suggesting the rate of the illness is up to six times greater than in the broader public.
It is believed that by reducing the oxygen available and creating injury to neural pathways, regular, vigorous training can initiate the disease in those already predisposed.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his fearless, relentless style to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a practice gear and commenced participating in physical contacts.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the line-out in the critical passage of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop kick.
Support Community
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a few other previous players about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to depend on their backing but, at the moment, just having that sort of care and recognition that people are there is the crucial thing," he said.
"This game is such a excellent family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to consider your love your career, it's one of the most important privileges.
"Achieving this for so considerable a duration with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will wish to help in every way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
